All of us in life find ourselves facing difficult situations and often these situations are repeated, for the cycles of life or because, precisely life, wants us to learn something different and deep, right there where we are colliding.

Life is that sweet and hard teacher who in beating us then seems to give us the best, the unexpected gift.

I want to consider couple relationships, what life has tested me for over and over again.

In couple relationships we have direct confrontation, in no uncertain terms, it is like standing in front of a mirror with your eyes open, observing each other in detail. It is in fact only in this way that we are obliged to see and, who knows, to observe and recognize ourselves in the other; Our dark side that we are often used to hiding as if perfection and goodness were something complete and really true in the human being. We are dual beings, let's not hide, in our duality lies "perfection".

No one is perfect and welcoming the imperfections of the other is a way to welcome ourselves in our entirety: what hard work!

Couple relationships invite us to be amiable and tolerant with something that in some moments can bother us a lot and in others can be in extreme harmony and synchronicity with ourselves.

The couple relationship teaches us to understand that the different is not wrong, it is just different, another head, another heart, another way of thinking, another world.

The more we are able to accommodate our peculiarity (this is what the couple shows us) the more we are able to be ourselves, really. The more we are ourselves, the easier it will be to be centered and shine. The brighter we shine, the more magnets we are for others.

The more we are ourselves, the closer we get to the path of our own love, there is no path of self-love without following ourselves and respecting our deepest desires.

There is no path of self-love without respect.

Respect in the couple.

Respecting means satisfying one's own needs, respecting means accompanying and taking by the hand our inner child who, continuously, needs so much to be heard. Respect means accepting the other as he is, without the need to change him.

In the couple we seek understanding, acceptance, listening, protection, companionship.

In the couple we look for what we are not able to give ourselves.

Often we look for a partner precisely because alone it seems impossible to stay and we are able to surprise ourselves, once and 1000 times, that the other person just does not work, because he is not doing with what we ask him/her, with our expectations.

It seems impossible to meet what we are looking for. But have you ever wondered if by chance the problem to be solved is in yourself? Have you wondered if your way of choosing your partner is perhaps superficial? And above all, what is your choice based on?

I think it is important to choose a partner to evaluate, the energetic connection, listen to the heart, know more about the person, the compatibility of intentions and moments of life. It would also be important to know if the person we are interested in is free on an emotional level, if he has resolved his previous relationship and has given a space and time to what was. It is always important to give each experience a meaning and understand the teaching that he wanted to bring us to place it in our experiential cultural baggage.

These would be good conditions to be able to start a relationship with all the trimmings, unfortunately we are not used to understanding each other and understanding the heart and emotions, we are not very intelligent on an emotional level and we are not able to understand neither the words nor the gestures of the other and so we often paint a film, we begin to believe and we self-convince ourselves that everything is perfect, We avoid being honest with ourselves and fantasize about the other.

In short, we forget to center ourselves in ourselves, we get lost. And so little by little history repeats itself, we lose our center and so losing, everything begins to get complicated, unless we force ourselves to accept conditions and situations that really hurt us and so history repeats itself, deluding ourselves once and for another time that everything will be resolved.

The more we move away from ourselves, the more we lose our center in function of something that is not destined to last, except at the expense of our health.

It easily happens to those who have lost everything, to lose themselves. Primo Levi, If this is a man, 1947